


Lies Cut Deep

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-25 01:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic. Yelling and misunderstanding ensue, and in the end it's Merlin who needs comforting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies Cut Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from [my journal](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/25577.html). Originally posted on 21st November 2011.

"You lied to me! You've been lying to me every single day since we first met!" Arthur yelled at Merlin. "I thought you were just a lucky fool, and you're a bloody sorcerer! You know what the penalty for sorcery is, you idiot!"

He leaned heavily on the table, feeling of betrayal washing over him. He was surprised to hear a noise of a sword being drawn and looked up to find Merlin holding its blade, offering the hilt to Arthur.

"Could you do it?" Merlin asked, head bowed.

"No," Arthur said resolutely, disgusted by the thought of hurting Merlin, no matter what he'd done.

But Merlin must have misread the tone of his voice because when he snapped his head up to look at Arthur, there was only terror in his eyes, all the colour drained from his face. He lost his grip on the blade, and Arthur watched it slip from his hand and slice Merlin's palm in the process. It fell to the ground with a clatter. 

Merlin didn't seem to notice any of it. He swayed slightly on his feet and a single word escaped his lips.

"Pyre."

Before Arthur got to the other side of the table, Merlin's knees hit the floor. Arthur landed on his own in front of him and tugged Merlin to his chest.

"No, I'd never... No," he whispered into Merlin's hair.

Merlin was shivering in his arms, repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over.

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe," Arthur reassured him.

"I thought..." Merlin said.

"I know," Arthur interrupted him. "You've been living in fear for too long," Arthur said, running his hand over Merlin's back.

"I should have told you," Merlin said quietly.

"Yes, you should have."

"I'm sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me? Name any punishment, and I'll gladly accept it."

"You did a good job with punishing yourself already."

"Please, what can I do? How can I earn your trust back?" Merlin asked, his voice just a whisper but still full of desperation as he sagged more into Arthur's embrace.

"I still trust you," Arthur replied. "Just don't ever lie to me again."

"There's so much I need to tell you."

"Yes, but not now. I need to look at your hand."

"What for?" asked Merlin.

"Because it's bleeding, which is probably the reason why you’re hanging on me like a limp puppet."

"Oh," Merlin said and tried to push himself from Arthur.

"I didn't tell you to move," Arthur said, holding him in a firm grip.

He slipped his arms under Merlin's. 

"Come on, try to stand up," Arthur commanded.

They successfully made it to a standing position, and Arthur let Merlin get his balance before he wrapped his arm around Merlin's waist and led him to the bed.

"Try not to bleed all over it," he said in an attempt for their usual banter and was pleased when Merlin responded in kind.

"I'm the one who's going to be cleaning it."

Arthur helped Merlin settle on the bed and went to collect some first aid supplies from one of his drawers. He returned with a few straps of clean cloth, bandages and a pot of salve. Then he brought a bowl filled with fresh water. 

"Can you heat it?" he asked after a moment.

"What?" Merlin asked, confused.

"The water, idiot," Arthur said. "With magic," he added when Merlin just continued staring at him.

Merlin said a few words in some foreign language, and Arthur felt the bowl warming in his hands. He laid it on the bedside table, dipped a cloth in it and took Merlin's hand in his, gently cleaning the wound.

"It's quite deep. I think you need stitches," he said. "I should take you to Gaius right now."

"No, it's fine. He can do it later."

"It could get infected."

"It won't. You're washing the wound and the bandages are clean," Merlin said.

"I should at least disinfect it," Arthur said.

He watched Merlin as he nodded. He was pale, lying uncharacteristically still, biting his lip against the pain.

Arthur padded across the room for a wineskin and poured some of its content into a goblet. He put a bowl on the bed next to Merlin and held his injured palm over it.

"Ready?" he asked and Merlin nodded.

The moment the wine touched the wound, a short pained moan escaped Merlin's lips, and he tried to pull the hand away from the source of the pain, but Arthur held his wrist in place. Tears leaked from under Merlin's scrunched eyelids. Arthur hated the sight of it. He dried the hand and spread the salve over the wound quickly, wrapping it in bandage, and then crawled on the bed and pulled Merlin to himself.

"Why did you think I'd have you killed? Don't you trust me?" Arthur asked when Merlin's breathing calmed, trying to not let the hurt seep into his words and failing.

"I do. It's just my past," Merlin said, extracting himself from Arthur's embrace to lie on his back.

"What do you mean?" 

"In Ealdor, we won, and Will died. I saved Freya, that druid girl, wanted to get her out of the city and let her live her peaceful life as she wished, and she didn't survive another night. I met my father for the first time in my life, and he died the next day. We found Morgana, and she turned evil. Everytime a bit of happiness entered my life, something happened and took it away from me," Merlin explained. 

Arthur took in a breath to speak, but Merlin raised his uninjured hand to stop him.

"I've never been as happy as with you. I was still waiting for the fall and I expected it to be hard, and when you found out about my magic and yelled at me... I don't deserve to be happy."

"You do," Arthur said, caressing Merlin's cheek.

"Do I?" Merlin asked. "So many people are dead because of me."

"And many more live thanks to you. I can't say I'm okay with this situation. No, I hate that you felt the need to lie to me. I hate that I don't know so much about you. But I can't hate you," Arthur said and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Let's get you out of this. It's soaked with blood," Arthur said and helped Merlin out of his tunic, lending him a clean one, and then stripped his own.

"It's late," he explained when Merlin looked at him questioningly. 

He pulled Merlin's boots off and climbed on the bed, covering Merlin with a blanket before crawling under it himself. It took a while before he managed to arrange Merlin to his liking with his head on Arthur's shoulder, half sprawled on top of him, one of his legs tucked in between Arthur's, his bandaged hand resting over Arthur's heart.

"Does it hurt much?" Arthur asked, caressing Merlin's forearm.

"It's not too bad," Merlin said, pressing closer to Arthur's side.

Arthur started rubbing circles on the skin of Merlin's lower back.

"That's nice," Merlin purred. "Don't stop."

"Sleep, idiot," Arthur commanded, but didn't stop his hand's movement. "I'm going soft," he sighed.

Merlin chuckled and, half-asleep, pressed a kiss to Arthur's jaw.


End file.
